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I always ask women out on the first message and it works really well for me. The only real strategy for men if you don't want to spend hours online is to have a good stock message, send it to everyone with a picture you like, and only read the profiles of those that respond. I hope I can help, as a girl who gets about 40 messages on a high volume day.I suggest that this is the time you ask for her phone number (asking for her digits without even having plans make her feel like you are pushy/desperate).Don't forget to comb over her profile (and questions like OKcupid has) to see what she's all about.So it's preferable to ask for the date and the number exchange towards the last message?I guess this makes sense because of mobile dating apps.